Friday, June 30, 2006

Cacophony of Vocals

I've been sitting in front of the comp for 5 minutes - blank screen - trying to think of something to blog about. And as I was scratching my head for inspiration, I finally felt very stupid because I actually did something worth blogging about today.

As a self-confessed singer, I have only been to the karaoke twice. The first being almost a year ago and the second, was today. Although I'd like to point out that's not the reason why strepsils is currently the staple of my diet though I wouldn't rule out the fact that it might have been detrimental to my sore throat.

So today I came back from KL and my fren picked me up cuz mum went out of town for the day. We later went to this karaoke joint, joined by 3 other ppl. Out of the 4 ppl who were also present, I personally only knew 2 of them but I was feeling surprisingly open today because I usually don't open up easily to ppl and the fact that I'm going to sing in front of them isn't supposed to be much help.

This outing was actually planned on Tue when I met up with these two of my frens and I had actually tempted to cancel yesterday as I my throat my slightly sore but decided to go ahead anyway because afterall, it's not everyday that I get to embarrass myself in front of other ppl.

Among others, I inflicted them with a horrible rendition of Truly, Madly, Deeply, awed them with a sexily husky opening to Trademark's Only Love, did a very decent run of Eternity and tried to be smooth with Walking Away. They were mainly very polite - I was expecting to be hammered with the microphone - and chipped in with the singing whenever I was doing less than decent, haha.

I was horribly disappointed though because I couldn't find Bad Day on the playlist. I've been trying to get ppl everyone to listen to me sing it ever since I got the acoustic version, which I reckon is excellent! Now, wait till I cut my own acoustic very of the song, tee hee.


Wednesday, June 28, 2006

In Memory

As I walked out onto the driveway earlier, chewing on my dried meat sandwich, I looked to the lawn and a particular bit of memory came back to me.

A number of years ago, my family members mostly refrained from in the driveway. This is because I used to have pets, specifically, two dogs. Since the driveway is within sight from the yard, I would feel really bad eating while the dogs look at me longingly.


They would first jump around excitedly at the sight of edibles, then hold out their salivating tongues and lastly give me their saddest puppy eyes to complete the whole guilt trip. Hence, I've long decided that I should not entice them with food whenever possible. Afterall, everybody loses in the end. They get horribly disappointed and I feel bad as hell.

Picture for illustration only

My experience with my dogs had made me come to one conclusion. I will not have a pet, ever. Personally, I know I am not the type of person who will be able to really take care of pets. The last thing I want is to abuse or neglect the animals. Rather than be a bad owner, I'd rather not be one. Those animals deserve better than me.

Similarly, I feel the same about children. *Trust loopy to reminisce about his pets and end up discussing his views on having children* I really don't think I'm up for responsibilities like that. Me being far too ambitious and self-centred to settle down and make infinite sacrifices. Which is why I think I'm destined to live a life of loneliness and become the hermit down the street. Honestly, rich, successful and lonely sound alright. It's only broke, hopeless and lonely that truly scares me.

This post is dedicated to my two endearing dogs which I miss very much. Winnie and Jackie, I'm sorry I didn't do my best for the both of you. Please know that you both are irreplaceable and I hope you guys are in a better place.

Predicament

So I lost my wallet, along with all my cash. Luckily, mommy dearest was very sympathetic with my predicament and gave me some dough to survive on.

It wasn’t until a week later when my cash was running low that I realised that I have absolutely no way of getting any money. I had lost all my ATM cards and without them, I couldn’t make any withdrawals.

Just when I thought it was the end of the world, I suddenly remembered I had my bank account book in my notebook bag. And that, ladies and gentlemen, means that I will be going shopping and a movie or two.

I happily drove to the nearest branch and after spending 15 minutes finding for that elusive parking, I finally strolled into the bank. One of the bank employees helped me locate the withdrawal slip and as I was cheerfully scribbling away, it hit me.

I don’t have my IC. Followed by, I need an ID to prove my identity for a withdrawal!

Defeated, I sneaked out of the bank while no one was looking. And it started to rain.

Note - I wrote this a few weeks back when I was still in KL without internet access. I have since got replacements for my my ID, driving license and cash cards so my only worry is my bank balance.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

BFF

It's since been one year when I left home for uni. Time really do fly, though occasionally somewhat 737 instead of the now defunct concorde.



In this one year that I've been in uni, I haven't exactly made a great deal of friends. Maybe there are a number whom I vaguely know and vice verse but there definitely aren't many I actually know personally. Even then, close would be an overstatement to describe the friendships.

In many ways, I know I am holding back. Partly, I've yet to form any bonds is because I'm not letting myself. Sure, there are lots of ppl who has found their new best friend in uni but I am far from being envious of them. Truth is, there really isn't anyone who I feel I could really connect with and hence, am unwilling to invest so much time and energy into something I know will never be possible.

What am I waiting for you ask?

Well, for one, friends whom I can let my guard down and express myself as I am instead of having to filter my thoughts in fear of coming across as too radical. Friends who shares my interest and those whom I do not need to try so hard to please because I am good enough as I am.

Evidently, I am looking for the quality amazing friends I had and still have over the years. Friends who can make me laugh and laugh at me without me feeling small, insignificant or unappreciated. Friends who will be there with me through thick and thin, able to see through the occasional facade of a brave face I put up to deal with everyday life and friends who no matter how annoyed or displeased with me, will forgive me for being who I am and together make us both better ppl.

To a certain degree, I am out there looking to replace Jilly-boo, Davey Boy, Pinkie, Becky, FK, Angelus, Sim amd so many others who had made an impact on my life and me. Obviously, I'm not out to permanent replace them for good but for someone who will play the roles and fill in their shoes while we're worlds apart. And if I do, maybe they will just become an addition to my amazing set of friends.

Yes, throughout this post, there's been plenty of 'maybe's and this is what I can make of it. The best I can do is make projections and expectations. And maybe, just maybe *grin*, I will never find friends like them anymore. Maybe I should stop using them as measuring sticks for potential friends for they belong in a league of their own. Maybe, I should just accept them fact that I will never have amazing friends like them anymore and I should grab on to them with both hands and give them bear hugs just to make sure they never get away, lol.

Sunday, June 25, 2006

On the right key

Although I've been blogging for sometime, I realised I haven't once written about something very characteristically of me, so here goes.

I love to sing.

Yes, I do. But no, I'm not gonna join Malaysian Idol or any other singing competition anytime soon. Though I may have no problem humming or singing to the radio or belting out the chorus - or two - of a song stuck in my head in front of my friends, I am in no means a great singer. Let's face it, I'm very very thankful to have friends who humour me, lol.

Over the years, I have come to view singing as a means to come to terms with myself and vocalise (pun intended) all my emotions. There's nothing more drama than singing I never had a dream come true during the worst moments down in the ditch, or show me the meaning of being lonely after being dumped (only theoretically, everyone knows I don't get dumped).

In good times and bad, I can always count on a song or two to make me feel better. Of course I do all these privately, usually when nobody is around. Which is why I value my privacy, it gives me a chance to do all the things I can't usually do when other people is around - and singing is not the only thing, lol.

Even at times when I feel sad or nervous in public, all it takes is a song to calm myself down and avoid a horrendous public fiasco. Basically, singing is really a cure all for me. It's a way for me to vent. It's a mood uplifter. It's just something I like to do regardless what anyone else things. Bleh!

Friday, June 23, 2006

Time Slows Down

For the first time in a long time, I felt time passed really slowly today. I believe that, ladies and gentlemen, is the result of being overproductive for the past two weeks due to me having a real job - 9 to 5, commuting, office gossip, you know, the works.

I got back home in Ipoh bout 12 noon. And I was already quite bored and aimless bout 2pm. Even after hanging on the phone till the well ran dry, it was only barely 30 minutes. However, I do expect things to take a sharp turn in the next few days when I settle into my typical procrastinating schedule. The fact that I will wake up at noon itself is a big step towards expending my day.

My sense of time isn't the only thing affected by the job. It has also made an impact physically. My feet occasionally aches for the amount of walking/standing I do everyday to get to work. I absolutely loathe my pair of adidas which I wear always because it's admittedly, a size too small. Don't fool yourself into thinking that shoes will expand tremendously to fit your feet even if you absolutely love them. Chances are, the love affair won't survive the first argument blister.

Also working in a foreign environment does a lot for the waistline. First day on the job, everyone went off to have lunch leaving me by myself. Never the person to dine alone, I lasted the entire day on a piece of bread no bigger than my knuckle. Bullimics worldwide must be very proud of me. But I never had to endure another lunch hour alone though. I schemed myself into other ppl's lunch group using my thick skin wits and charm.

Last and most importantly, though my job was not of any particular importance, there was also quite a bit of stress and frustration involved. This inevitably leads to breakouts!!! So sad... They came so suddenly that I couldn't even bid farewell to my flawlessly smooth complexion which I had previously. So now I have to endure having small little bumps on unstrategic - or strategic, if you hate me - spots like the corner of my mouth which makes its presence known everytime I open my mouth. Guess I have to stop showing that shoving-my-knuckle-down-my-throat trick for now.

I'll do a demonstration once I rehabilitate my skin. You guys just wait.

Saturday, June 10, 2006

Cheese Cheese Baby

Not feeling particularly inspired lately, especially when the two songs I have on repeat is the acoustic version (it rocks!!) of Daniel Powter's Bad Day and Paris Hilton's Stars Are Blind. Hell, she can't sing but the song is slickly produced.

I especially love the irony when she sings

even though the gods are crazy
even though the gods are blind
if you show me real love baby
I'll show you mine

Maybe someone should remind her that most of the world has seen her "love", tee hee. But not me of course *straight faced*, nope not me.

Anyway yesterday I finally went to re-issue my driving license after driving around license-less for almost one whole month, hehe. I had to deliberately get my picture taken for it but it was debating with myself whether or not to do it cuz I felt that my hair is kinda in a mess these days. Finally, my sensibility got the better of me and I went and got everything done.

Immediately after leaving JPJ (road authority), I picked CP up. Just as I turned out onto the mainroad from her house, I was immediately faced with a police block. At that point, I was very very thankful that I got my license done. Hell, what kind of luck is it anyway. Whole month I've been driving without a license, nothing happened. The very moment I had it, I run into a police check.

Alas, it was no big deal. They let me pass immediately. Nonetheless, I breathed a sigh of relief knowing I have all the necessary documents. Imagine, NO driving license, NO identity card. Gosh, think I'll be on a ship halfway to China by now, hehe.

Once we got to the mall, we kinda strolled around, enjoying the attention of being a beautiful couple (as in two people, not attached). The only thing better than a good looking person is TWO good looking person, haha. Ok la, think the self-indulging vanity is really my writing style. Hard to be witty without being narcissistic.

Annnyywaaaay, CP was there to get some ingredients for her inaugural cheesecake. Which turned out to be my inaugural cheesecake as well because I went over to her place at night to help. It was a fun domestic project. I had no idea that manually mixing cheese is so darn hard and tiresome. In the end, I believe we came up with a respectable masterpiece. That was yesterday night.

As I'm typing this, the taste of the cheesecake still lingers in my mouth as I just came back from tasting it at her place. It takes OK (what else do you expect me to say, I half contributed to it) but I'd admit it is a BIT cheesy. Still very much edible though, hehe.

So that's my very first experience at cake making. Don't mind taking another stab at it but maybe not so soon. Also, sadly, I'll be going back to KL on Sun. Got another temp job starting Mon. Frankly, I'm not looking forward to it but bills have got to be paid and I'd hate to ask my parents for more. I plan to be back in 2 weeks once I'm done with the job. Hopefully I'll be with everyone again soon.

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Get Together

All these were taken during the last outing wif my old class/school mates.


I don't know why but pictures always look better when it's blur, lol.

Me giving the chuen (arrogant) look, haha...

Me showing off my cam-whoring skills. Not everyone can self-snap such good pictures you know, haha.


Anyway due to the sheer size of the table, I didn't take pictures with everyone. In the end, I only took pictures with the ones sitting right next to me hence fei and wt.

Pulling My Hair Out

AAAAhhhhhh, I'm so pissed!!!!

20 minutes ago I got a SMS from my fren telling me that I can check my results. For the better or worse, I came online to face reality. Fast forward twenty minutes later, I still can't check my freaking results.

One, the stupid portal is crawling like a snail so it takes an eternity for the damn server to response.

Two, well this is actually more of my fault, I can't remember the freaking password!!!

So here I am, short of biting my fingers off and stressed like mad. I don't care if it sucks. I'm more concerned knowing that it's a few clicks away yet I can't get a hold of it. The sooner I get it, the sooner I can move on with my life.

Until I do, my mind can't seem to think of anything else. I'm so pissed!!!

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

More to Come

I've been back since last Fri but things have been pretty hectic for me. Not that I have been doing anything serious (like work) but I've just been hanging out very often with my friends.

These past few days were a real blast. Had a great time chilling out with all my friends, hehe.

Anyway I think I will post some pictures soon. Also, I wrote a few post while I was dead bored in KL so I'd probably publish them soon as well.