BFF
It's since been one year when I left home for uni. Time really do fly, though occasionally somewhat 737 instead of the now defunct concorde.
In this one year that I've been in uni, I haven't exactly made a great deal of friends. Maybe there are a number whom I vaguely know and vice verse but there definitely aren't many I actually know personally. Even then, close would be an overstatement to describe the friendships.
In many ways, I know I am holding back. Partly, I've yet to form any bonds is because I'm not letting myself. Sure, there are lots of ppl who has found their new best friend in uni but I am far from being envious of them. Truth is, there really isn't anyone who I feel I could really connect with and hence, am unwilling to invest so much time and energy into something I know will never be possible.
What am I waiting for you ask?
Well, for one, friends whom I can let my guard down and express myself as I am instead of having to filter my thoughts in fear of coming across as too radical. Friends who shares my interest and those whom I do not need to try so hard to please because I am good enough as I am.
Evidently, I am looking for the quality amazing friends I had and still have over the years. Friends who can make me laugh and laugh at me without me feeling small, insignificant or unappreciated. Friends who will be there with me through thick and thin, able to see through the occasional facade of a brave face I put up to deal with everyday life and friends who no matter how annoyed or displeased with me, will forgive me for being who I am and together make us both better ppl.
To a certain degree, I am out there looking to replace Jilly-boo, Davey Boy, Pinkie, Becky, FK, Angelus, Sim amd so many others who had made an impact on my life and me. Obviously, I'm not out to permanent replace them for good but for someone who will play the roles and fill in their shoes while we're worlds apart. And if I do, maybe they will just become an addition to my amazing set of friends.
Yes, throughout this post, there's been plenty of 'maybe's and this is what I can make of it. The best I can do is make projections and expectations. And maybe, just maybe *grin*, I will never find friends like them anymore. Maybe I should stop using them as measuring sticks for potential friends for they belong in a league of their own. Maybe, I should just accept them fact that I will never have amazing friends like them anymore and I should grab on to them with both hands and give them bear hugs just to make sure they never get away, lol.
In this one year that I've been in uni, I haven't exactly made a great deal of friends. Maybe there are a number whom I vaguely know and vice verse but there definitely aren't many I actually know personally. Even then, close would be an overstatement to describe the friendships.
In many ways, I know I am holding back. Partly, I've yet to form any bonds is because I'm not letting myself. Sure, there are lots of ppl who has found their new best friend in uni but I am far from being envious of them. Truth is, there really isn't anyone who I feel I could really connect with and hence, am unwilling to invest so much time and energy into something I know will never be possible.
What am I waiting for you ask?
Well, for one, friends whom I can let my guard down and express myself as I am instead of having to filter my thoughts in fear of coming across as too radical. Friends who shares my interest and those whom I do not need to try so hard to please because I am good enough as I am.
Evidently, I am looking for the quality amazing friends I had and still have over the years. Friends who can make me laugh and laugh at me without me feeling small, insignificant or unappreciated. Friends who will be there with me through thick and thin, able to see through the occasional facade of a brave face I put up to deal with everyday life and friends who no matter how annoyed or displeased with me, will forgive me for being who I am and together make us both better ppl.
To a certain degree, I am out there looking to replace Jilly-boo, Davey Boy, Pinkie, Becky, FK, Angelus, Sim amd so many others who had made an impact on my life and me. Obviously, I'm not out to permanent replace them for good but for someone who will play the roles and fill in their shoes while we're worlds apart. And if I do, maybe they will just become an addition to my amazing set of friends.
Yes, throughout this post, there's been plenty of 'maybe's and this is what I can make of it. The best I can do is make projections and expectations. And maybe, just maybe *grin*, I will never find friends like them anymore. Maybe I should stop using them as measuring sticks for potential friends for they belong in a league of their own. Maybe, I should just accept them fact that I will never have amazing friends like them anymore and I should grab on to them with both hands and give them bear hugs just to make sure they never get away, lol.
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