in the Loop

A random call out of nowhere. Initially, I thought it was just a good friend checking up on me. Occasionally some do that. They ask me if I'm dead yet, or dying, but I know they have good intentions.

This one call was different. He wanted me to look outside my window. To check if there is an accident down there. No there wasn't, I told him.

"My girlfriend's been in an accident," came the somber reply. "She told me she's outside some apartments in BJ and I thought it could be yours. I'm out of town, she called me all scared, her ribs hurt and arm's bleeding."

I'm very ashamed of myself when I say this but my initial thought was that I probably shouldn't have told him I was feeling better.

But I had to make a choice. And like how I would with most decisions in life, I put myself in the other person's shoes. In this case, I imagined if I was the one in the crash, cringing in pain and hoping for a Samaritan.

Though it was quite a clear-cut decision, it wasn't an easy one to make. I told him I'll drive over and check it out. To see if I could help. And I did just that.

Even though by the time I got there her friend had already picked her to the hospital, I managed to put my friend who had lost contact with his gf, back in contact with her through her friend.

And I felt better knowing I had done the right thing. Even though I had to drag my ass out of my climate controlled (that's air conditioned for those of you more literal) abode, it was worth it being for being at peace with myself.

Everyone writes for their own reasons. To express oneself is the classic one. Same with me. But there is a certain part of me who writes to be understood. For others to see beyond the shell and everyday action, to give everyone a glimpse into my psyche and see who I truly am.

I'm not sure if everyone struggles with these decisions like I do. I have a suspicion they don't. That it comes easy to them, because it's the human thing to do. I believe in humanity like that. Which is also why it's so hard for me to say that I struggled. And I will continue to struggle. But I want to continue choosing to do the right thing. Because one day, I will need someone else to choose the same for me.