My First Post, Then
It was 18th December 2003.
That was the day I wrote my first blog entry. I can't imagine it's been over 3 fucking years... and I'm saying that with disbelief as well as a slight trace of sadness and melancholy. Time really flew by. I didn't have much to show for in these few years cept a well chronicled journey of angst.
Tonight, I'm taking a journey down memory lane. I'd like to share with everyone, the one post that got everything started. Surprisingly, the second part of the entry is still as relevant today as it was then.
"My inaugurate entry, the entry that makes or breaks my blog. In light of the significance of this entry, I have to take caution….
This is how I am. I plan and plan and plan in advance because I always want to start on the right track and hopefully end wif a bang. Impromptu does not exist in my vocabulary. It is utterly unthinkable to act on a whim. However, more often not, expectations are not met and I’ve no choice but to settle for less.
This is life, I guess. If everything went the way we wanted it, than our existence would be nothing but a linear role playing game. Choices are scripted, reactions anticipated and thoughts predicted. Surprises would then be nonexistent. Unless, of course, the surprises itself is scripted. An example would be feigning surprise when your friends spring out of the dark to wish you ‘Happy Birthday’ when you’ve already knew about it. Our actions would then be full of monotony, going from one place to another, doing one thing to another, doing things just for the sake of it.
Remember the time when you went to a social event you weren’t enthusiastic with? The flash of a smile, a light hearted laugh, the introductions, a firm handshake and the exchange of pleasantries. Performing social etiquette to perfection. Afterall, you didn’t even catch his name. Neither were you interested with her pet Chihuahua nor his preference for older woman. All you wanted to do was be a good host/guest and wish you were somewhere else.
When life ends up feeling that way, nothing but a hassle, then somewhere along the way, I’ve grown jaded. Spending so much time analysing society and trying so very hard to assimilate, I’ve finally accomplished my goal to seamlessly fit into society. With that, I’ve sacrificed individuality.
It’s when you’ve lost the little things that you know you’ve completely lost yourself. Dressing to the latest does not account as having lost one’s individuality. Instead, if you find your manner of thoughts to be same as the dude adjacent to you, then you shall celebrate. To rejoice over conformity and success to stifle your queerness."
That was the day I wrote my first blog entry. I can't imagine it's been over 3 fucking years... and I'm saying that with disbelief as well as a slight trace of sadness and melancholy. Time really flew by. I didn't have much to show for in these few years cept a well chronicled journey of angst.
Tonight, I'm taking a journey down memory lane. I'd like to share with everyone, the one post that got everything started. Surprisingly, the second part of the entry is still as relevant today as it was then.
"My inaugurate entry, the entry that makes or breaks my blog. In light of the significance of this entry, I have to take caution….
This is how I am. I plan and plan and plan in advance because I always want to start on the right track and hopefully end wif a bang. Impromptu does not exist in my vocabulary. It is utterly unthinkable to act on a whim. However, more often not, expectations are not met and I’ve no choice but to settle for less.
This is life, I guess. If everything went the way we wanted it, than our existence would be nothing but a linear role playing game. Choices are scripted, reactions anticipated and thoughts predicted. Surprises would then be nonexistent. Unless, of course, the surprises itself is scripted. An example would be feigning surprise when your friends spring out of the dark to wish you ‘Happy Birthday’ when you’ve already knew about it. Our actions would then be full of monotony, going from one place to another, doing one thing to another, doing things just for the sake of it.
Remember the time when you went to a social event you weren’t enthusiastic with? The flash of a smile, a light hearted laugh, the introductions, a firm handshake and the exchange of pleasantries. Performing social etiquette to perfection. Afterall, you didn’t even catch his name. Neither were you interested with her pet Chihuahua nor his preference for older woman. All you wanted to do was be a good host/guest and wish you were somewhere else.
When life ends up feeling that way, nothing but a hassle, then somewhere along the way, I’ve grown jaded. Spending so much time analysing society and trying so very hard to assimilate, I’ve finally accomplished my goal to seamlessly fit into society. With that, I’ve sacrificed individuality.
It’s when you’ve lost the little things that you know you’ve completely lost yourself. Dressing to the latest does not account as having lost one’s individuality. Instead, if you find your manner of thoughts to be same as the dude adjacent to you, then you shall celebrate. To rejoice over conformity and success to stifle your queerness."
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