in the Loop

Today, I drove out for the first time, unsupervised. It was a little daunting but my sis has given me a little practice over the last week.

Drive on the right side of the road, the right, the right, the right.....

Kept repeating that mantra in my head.

If your wondering, no, I did not turn into oncoming traffic, yet. I may I guess, never know with these things.

Like I said before, it's a very daunting experience. There's just so much uncertainty. And god, by now, everyone reading my blog should know how intolerant I am about that.

The first thing I went to do today was gas up the car. Although I'm vaguely certain that you pay the guy in the counter, I wasn't completely 100% sure either.

What do I say to him?
How do I say it?
Is there a particular lingo?
God, I'm killing myself with this...

And even after I did that, I still couldn't pump. Before I panicked, I realised that I had to lift a part of the pump up in order to start pumping. Luckily it worked.

Next, we hit up 2 different supermarkets so my mom could get the ingredients she needed to make the dishes my sis was craving for.

I began with the Asian supermarket which was located far off in the suburbs. Then I drove to Kroger's which is the regular grocery store nearer to the city.

The quick transition from the two widly different environment was a little shocking to me. At the Asian market, there were Asians everywhere albeit only a small number considering today's a work day. At Kroger's, there were a lot more ppl but everyone was Caucasian. Not that I am surprised but when you see two different environments so similar yet wildly different at the same time, it makes you wonder.

And it was a Kroger's where my spirits were dampened. At the checkout, I wanted to see if I had enough change to pay for groceries instead of accumulating more coins. However, being unfamiliar - I can only tell quarters in a glance at this point - with the different coins, I struggled a little bit before deciding I didn't have enough.

I gave the cashier 20 bucks, expecting to get 3.15 back but he only gave me 3.00 instead. I didn't ask him for the shortfall. I don't think it's a custom because I've gotten tonnes of change before but at the same time, I'm not sure.

I highly doubt it though. I just feel particular disappointed at myself. If only I wasn't so hopeless, I wouldn't be taken advantage of. I miss the confident me. And I really despised being inferior, almost as much as being perceived as inferior.

Tonight I'm going to play a game with myself.

It's called "Let's buy something with coins."

Posted by loopy at 3:30 am | Permalink | Comments

Continued

Sorry it took me this long to write the second part. I'm kinda distracted these days, lol.

Anyway the next morning, we woke up around 10am and got the the airport around 1130am. We explored the airport a little bit and went to check-in for our connecting flight.

Having bought our tickets through a third party online, I had no idea how to check-in without the tickets. The Continental Airlines lady manning the booth was quite the sour face bitch, and yes, that will forever be my impression of Continental. You hear that Contel!!

Turns out, I had to perform a self check-in by swiping my passport on the machine. There were a dozen other options though. Once I got it right, checking in was a breeze. Was just glad to bid bitchy lady farewell.

Then we went go grab a little lunch at this fastfood outlet called Miami Subs - I think - which was quite acceptable. Not very healthy though.

The flight was scheduled at 250 and we boarded on time. It was a tiny little plane but my concern was just reaching my destination asap. At this point, I had a little fever from the chilly weather in New York.

About 1 and a half hour later, we landed at the airport and the pilot's voice came on.

"Ladies and gentleman, we are very sorry to tell you that we are early by 25 minutes."

At which point, everyone broke out laughing. These things are almost never early. I silently gave thanks for the end of my misery. No more planes. I'm there!

Posted by loopy at 4:35 am | Permalink | Comments

I had a long and adventurous weekend.

On Friday morning, I went to pick up the tickets for Saturday night. That in itself, is an interesting story for next time.

After that, my sis dropped my mom and me at the Museum Center where once again, I did not bring the camera because I forgot to charge it the night before. Basically, the Museum Center at Union Terminal houses 3 museums, the Museum of Natural History, Cincinnati History Museum and the Children's Museum in addition to the Omnimax Theater. The Museum Center itself used to be a train station and one could still board trains from there. The architecture is very much similar to the famed Grand Central Terminal in New York.

Since there wasn't anything interesting showing at the Omnimax, we only visited the Natural History museum. It was a very very long walk and I had to sit down a number of times. Then, we hit up the souvenir shop and got 2 quirky fridge magnets with the word Cincinnati on them.

Then, we took a 35 minutes walk home on a rather chilly day. It was great to see downtown again although it's not as interesting as the larger cities.

At night, we went for a ballet. Three different dances was performed that night, from Twyla Tarp to a more contemporary Finnish choreographer's work and finally ending with a jazzy dance easily appreciated by the masses.

Then on Saturday afternoon, my sis's fren had a farewell party at the park and we brought some food over. Some of her frens were really nice but I mostly kept myself occupied by playing games.

At night, my sis conned us to an Italian opera accompanied by a choral group and the orchestra which she described to us initially as "just a symphony". It was a different experience to say the least, having been to a symphony before this. Thank god I read up on the plot before the show began and also they had supertitles (subtitles hung high up near the ceiling) in English for those unfortunate enough not to comprehend Italian.

After the show, we joined her frens again for clubbing and boy, it was crazy. All it takes is 2 drinks to blow the inhibitions away. I had an amazing time, and I don't have any regrets even though the next morning wasn't very fun. Her fren's were very nice, but I suppose alcohol makes everyone friendly-ier, lol.

Sun was just spent chilling and recuperating. Was supposed to go to a jazz recital at night but just wasn't up to it anymore. Looking back, if anyone asks about my trip, there is no way I can say anything but that I've really enjoyed myself.

Posted by loopy at 4:07 am | Permalink | Comments

I know everyone has been waiting for pictures, so on Monday, I went to the zoo and finally remembered to bring the camera.

I'll just do a really quick photo roll because I get lazy again.





















But even cuter illustration



Some elephants



and a parrot



The greenhouse



and I came all the way here to look at Aloe Vera, which used to grow in my backyard.



This is the end guys, next time!

Posted by loopy at 2:59 am | Permalink | Comments

It's been a pretty hectic two days. Yesterday we went on a day trip to Hocking Hills, bout 2 hrs drive from here. It's a huge state park (forest reserve) and we went to a few spots where there were amazing water falls and caves.

Now is the part where I post pictures and gush about how beautiful it was. Except that, well I forgot to bring the camera..... *replay of sis screaming at me*

So there I've said it. We can all move on now.

Then today, we went to this famous pancake place which was rather fun. Was stuffed like a teddy bear. Think I won't crave for it in a long long time.

Then we dropped by the mall for a short while. Among the only interesting there (other than all the upscale stores I recognized) was the Apple Store which was very cool. Not as cool as the glass house in New York but it's nice seeing a real Apple store for the first time.

The trying part came later that evening. My sis hosted a party for her closest friends and I had to interact with them. Boy, did I work it. It was hard at the beginning. I was nervous as hell and I didn't know any of them. I spent the first 15 minutes of it asking what drinks I should get them in order to avoid any conversation. However, things did get easier once the party was in full swing. For all its worth, her friends were amazingly nice and they tried their best to talk to me and my mom. So all my awkward self had to do was at least try to meet them halfway, and I did.

Right now, I feel that everyday is a battle/challenge. Every single day, there's something that requires me to get out of my comfort zone. And damn, I am nervous about it. The hard part is that it's not something that can be eased into. The learning curve is just really steep. One part of me wants to avoid it all but I know it needs to be done. I wish I didn't have to dread the moments leading to it. At times, I wish I could just have a few drinks and get on with it. I won't be the first person to fight anxiety with alcohol.

Posted by loopy at 9:14 am | Permalink | Comments

I'm here. The other side of the world, I'm here.

DAY 1

12 hours flight and I land in Stockholm. Transit, then delayed for 2 hours at Arlanda Airport. Well, from my rather short stay in Sweden, this is my impression of it.

A lot of trees
A lot of lakes
A lot of rivers
More trees
Blond hair and blue eyes everywhere...

Leaving Stockholm, the flight was significantly emptier. Most of the blonds has disembarked, replaced by a few more mature - uncle - blonds. For this leg of the journey, the lazy flight attendants turned off the lights pretty soon into the journey and didn't reappear towards the end in order to serve dinner.

Anyway bout, 8 hours later, I landed at Newark Airport in New Jersey (close to New York). I could see the Manhattan skyline in a distance, with the Empire State Building evidently the tallest building in sight. Fedex had a little terminal - and quite a number of jets - at the airport, testament to the massive overnight delivery industry here.

It was very chilly. My first taste of cold weather. And for those wondering, it was definitely colder than Genting or Cameron. It was about 16 or 17 degrees Celsius.

After a little while of getting my bearings, I finally figured out the whole place. Newark International Airport (EWR) is actually made up of 3 Terminals, which consist of Domestic, International and the Continental hub. Between them, you have to take the Airtrain which connects them all together in addition to a few other platforms for car rental and other services.

Finally, at nearly 9pm, I check into one of the many airport hotels for the night. Wasn't exactly the Marriot, but good enough. Very clean bathrooms.

After watching reruns of Friends, I decided to call it a night at about 1030pm.


To Be Continued

Posted by loopy at 8:54 pm | Permalink | Comments

I think I may be irrational. Actually, I know I am.

Why else would I feel this way?? It's just absolutely crazy. Doesn't make any sense whatsoever at all. Immediately, it feels like the NTU fiasco all over again. Except this time, I can't back out. No plan B. And no caring, wonderfully objective and truly understanding (of me) sister to scream some senses into me.

Because I'm not getting out of control, yet. And mainly, because I didn't lay it out to her as it is.

As much as I hate it, the other she may be right. I have more anxiety than the average person. And I hate that. For all the years of education and self-awareness, at the end, I still couldn't escape the average Asian's low level of tolerance for the unknown.

I hate being hopeless.

I hate myself for being hopeless.

And I hate myself.

After taking a seat back, and a deep breath (or more!), my issues evaporates away. It's all me, being insensible. Slowly, I rationalize it all. I believe it, somewhat. And I feel calmer. I'm just glad I can manage to keep it under wraps.

Maybe, at the end of the day, I am rather average in this regard. However, there is hope I can change. That I can learn. And I can be better.

Posted by loopy at 9:20 pm | Permalink | Comments

New haircut for the holidays.

I'm not getting this haircut again. Dunno why my hair guy always insist on giving me "trendy" haircut. I'm beginning to wonder if he's part of some consortium of hairstylists whose mission is to churn out nearly identical haircuts to flood the streets in order to create and feed the fad.

Dunno what to say anymore.

Life sucks. Bleh.

Saw Spidey3. Was enjoyable. Nothing to say other than that.

Till next time.

Bye.

Posted by loopy at 7:34 pm | Permalink | Comments