in the Loop

Today has been a rather uneventful day.

A disappointment or two, but nothing damning.

In fact, it's going exactly the way I want it to, just me enjoying my own company at home.

But I get a thought. After days and days of going out, turns out, sitting at home isn't as satisfying as I thought.

Then, somehow, as it always happen with me, something else popped into my head.

It started innocently enough.

Am I being productive today?

I don't feel like I'm doing enough.

Am I good enough?

I'm not smart enough.

I need to be more intelligent.

I need to be more approachable.

Am I attractive?

I'm not stunningly good looking.

I don't dress very well either.

I'm too thin.

I'm not fat enough.

I'm too fat.

Am I lovable?

Am I nice enough to people?

I need to be a better person.

I have to improve myself.


Then I think.

Is it my penchant for setting high expectations for myself?

I honestly don't know.

I do know, the pursuit of perfection is a self-damning one.

Yet, I can't just drop it. That would be uncharacteristic of me.

So I guess I'll just have to pursue that elusive equilibrium.

Guess that's only an occasionally damning pursuit.