Is everything in White and Black?
Am I right right? Or am I wrong?
Today I had a presentation on media and communication issues. Being the group leader, I had made sure that everything was complete, even helped the girl was who supposed to present by giving her some pointers. I'm glad she agreed to present even though her English isn't perfect but I'm a firm believer that we all deserve opportunities.
Although we kinda expected that some other group would pick the same topic (the communication fiasco due to the Taiwan earthquake), we were still horrified when the second group presented the exact same topic.
Immediately, we panicked. I told the presenter that she should focus on a the elements that the previous group missed out in order to give it a distinct angle and rattled off some examples.
"But I didn't really go through those topics. I expected it to be something very brief and general."
In the end, she went ahead with her prepared text before passing the mic to me to highlight the issues. After all, I did do the particular topic and didn't have much problem rattling off the information from the top of my head.
From the feedback, we didn't do badly at all but that's not the thing that's bothering me.
The question I keep asking myself is that, did I over-react? Should I have just let her present it as it is, after all we did anticipate this initially. Am I being over-competitive? Does everything need to be a competition? Did I really have to try to outshine others? And does everyone now thinks of me as some maniac who just needs to win??
That was just issue number one. Here comes two.
Since we're all going for our internship next semester, all everyone is talking about these days is exactly just that.
Below is a conversation I had with two friends.
A: Where are you going?
Me: Probably advertising.
B: Which firm?
Me: Errm, not sure. Don't remember already (lie!).
B: So fast forget meh....
(Catching on)
Me: No, what I mean is... it's something like BBD or DDB, not very sure. (Can't stop now)
A: Oh, I think they have a PR firm too... *conversation continues between A and B*
Honestly, I don't know why I lie... Ok, I do have a few ideas, but I'm not sure which is the main reason, or if there are any other subconscious excuse.
Truth is, I just don't feel like telling ppl that trying to go to advertising and even more so telling them it's Naga DDB that I'm trying for.
Maybe I just don't want competition, or maybe I just afraid that they will ask me to apply as well. Or maybe it's god damn embarrassing to count your eggs only to have none of them hatch - read: If I tell everyone I'm going there and don't get in, it will be very humiliating.
So should I be acting this way? Or is there a better way to go around it? I just dunno what to think anymore. I know I'm no philanthropist and I've labeled myself a selfish bastard numerous times, but to have it staring in my face is something else.
Sigh... Wouldn't it be so much easier if we didn't have to compete with our frens? Then I can step on as many toes as I want without giving a shit... Well, it's just business.
Today I had a presentation on media and communication issues. Being the group leader, I had made sure that everything was complete, even helped the girl was who supposed to present by giving her some pointers. I'm glad she agreed to present even though her English isn't perfect but I'm a firm believer that we all deserve opportunities.
Although we kinda expected that some other group would pick the same topic (the communication fiasco due to the Taiwan earthquake), we were still horrified when the second group presented the exact same topic.
Immediately, we panicked. I told the presenter that she should focus on a the elements that the previous group missed out in order to give it a distinct angle and rattled off some examples.
"But I didn't really go through those topics. I expected it to be something very brief and general."
In the end, she went ahead with her prepared text before passing the mic to me to highlight the issues. After all, I did do the particular topic and didn't have much problem rattling off the information from the top of my head.
From the feedback, we didn't do badly at all but that's not the thing that's bothering me.
The question I keep asking myself is that, did I over-react? Should I have just let her present it as it is, after all we did anticipate this initially. Am I being over-competitive? Does everything need to be a competition? Did I really have to try to outshine others? And does everyone now thinks of me as some maniac who just needs to win??
That was just issue number one. Here comes two.
Since we're all going for our internship next semester, all everyone is talking about these days is exactly just that.
Below is a conversation I had with two friends.
A: Where are you going?
Me: Probably advertising.
B: Which firm?
Me: Errm, not sure. Don't remember already (lie!).
B: So fast forget meh....
(Catching on)
Me: No, what I mean is... it's something like BBD or DDB, not very sure. (Can't stop now)
A: Oh, I think they have a PR firm too... *conversation continues between A and B*
Honestly, I don't know why I lie... Ok, I do have a few ideas, but I'm not sure which is the main reason, or if there are any other subconscious excuse.
Truth is, I just don't feel like telling ppl that trying to go to advertising and even more so telling them it's Naga DDB that I'm trying for.
Maybe I just don't want competition, or maybe I just afraid that they will ask me to apply as well. Or maybe it's god damn embarrassing to count your eggs only to have none of them hatch - read: If I tell everyone I'm going there and don't get in, it will be very humiliating.
So should I be acting this way? Or is there a better way to go around it? I just dunno what to think anymore. I know I'm no philanthropist and I've labeled myself a selfish bastard numerous times, but to have it staring in my face is something else.
Sigh... Wouldn't it be so much easier if we didn't have to compete with our frens? Then I can step on as many toes as I want without giving a shit... Well, it's just business.
I've never believe in things ever being black and white. Some of my friends think I just like to make things complicated. Here's what I think.
1. I think competition is alright, cos it gives us the drive to improve. But more often we try to hide for fear of coming off as kiasu. However, competition can only thrive in a competitive environment. If you're under Singapore's Asian scholarship or in Harvard, you'll be eating dusttrails if you're not competitive.
For us, I think, it's mainly boils down to because we KNOW we can do much better given the resources. And then we don't get (or work with) the best resources. And so we think, "Does it really matter if we don't do our best?" And well, that depends on whether we think it's worth it. I can't say for your case, but bear in mind that we shouldn't let ourselves be bogged down by complacency just because everyone else is.
2. You're still way behind me when it comes to snaking your way, not that it's something I'm proud of. And here I've to say that we don't live in an equal world, where everyone are judged based solely on their effort and skills.
I missed out on the JPA scholarship after SPM, but some of my friends got it. Do I begrudged them? Not really. It was my bad for not finding out about it, and well, things ain't too bad now. Would I've done thes same? Most likely. It's not your fault (or in my case; my friends) if your coursemates don't know about it. If they found out about it through other means, good for them. If not, too bad. Why do you need to explain it to them? Why should they reap the benefits of something that you have gotten?
Some might think all these as cynical or cold, especially coming from someone who wants to help save the environment. I may be idealist, but I do live in a society and I'm not stupid. I won't say that it is right or wrong, because I believe it is neither. Sorry, but there's no hard and fast rules bout them - just what you think is alright and if you're ok with them.
Posted by
Anonymous |
Tuesday, January 16, 2007 9:08:00 pm
it's just being normal. every1 is selfish, so dun feel so bad about yourself, you 'selfish bastard'. Being competitive is good, and in your case, since ur the group leader, i think it's normal for u to try to bring the best out of your group's presentation, since u hold the responsibility to do so.
As for the 2nd issue, i'll did the same thing too. "i don't know" or "im not sure" will be wat i'll tell them if im in your shoes. Cause i dun like to tell others what im not confirmed yet.
Posted by
Eratter |
Wednesday, January 17, 2007 4:57:00 pm
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